In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
