sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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