Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
