are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
