you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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