Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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