No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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