The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
