their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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