Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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