Ambien. No doubt about it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
