After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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