look no pants
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
