in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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