I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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