I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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