my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize