that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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