4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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