GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
