i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
