I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
