what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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