that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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