So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize