All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize