Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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