Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
