I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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