Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
