his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
