hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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