good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
