im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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