THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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