There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
