what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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