I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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