bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
