it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
