I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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