you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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