i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
