So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so let's talk penis.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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