You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
