Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
