Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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