I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
