Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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