He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
