Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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