Its about making memories worth repressing
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
