Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
