New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
