one might say we're banned from that church
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize