she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
