We're facebook friends in real life
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
