My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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