you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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