Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
