I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
