Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
