it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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