strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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