You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
