If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
